Bishop Bradley begins parish tours to discuss What I Have Heard and Seen
Beginning this month Bishop Paul J. Bradley will embark on a series of “Conversations with the Bishop” evenings and events around the diocese to lead a discussion on various aspects of his pastoral letter, What I Have Heard and Seen. Reflection questions related to the pastoral letter are available online and will be distributed to participants prior to the events. See right for the current schedule. Any group or parish wishing to host Bishop Bradley should contact: The Office of the Bishop, 269-903-0217; officeofthebishop@dioceseofkalamazoo.org.
FEBRUARY:
St. Ann Parish, Augusta, Wednesday, February 16, 6:30 – 8 p.m.
St. Augustine Cathedral Parish, Kalamazoo, Monday, February 28th; 7 p.m. Parish potluck begins at 6 p.m.
MARCH:
Ss. John/Bernard Parish, Benton Harbor, Thurdsay, March 10, 6 p.m Mass; 7 p.m. program
Kalamazoo Diocesan Council of Catholic Women-Lenten Day of Spiritual Renewal *Wednesday, March 16th 8:30 a.m.
Diocesan Trauma Recovery aids in Rwandan healing
The Rev. Kenneth Schmidt, a certified counselor and the pastor of St. Thomas More Parish, in Kalamazoo, and Sharon Froom, Director, Trauma Recovery Program, traveled to Rwanda in November, at the invitation of Bishop Jean Damascène Bimenyimana, to provide trauma recovery training to 28 priests during a five-day workshop/retreat in Cyangugu, a small town in western Rwanda. They were part of a four-member team put together by Fr. Ubald Rugirangoga, a priest well-known for his healing work of forgiveness and reconciliation. The team also gave a two and a half-day workshop to 85 educators and service professionals.By Olga Bonfiglio
Fr. Ken Schmidt and Sharon Froom have been working together in trauma recovery since 2002, but neither of them ever expected to take their ministry to Rwanda, the scene of a million-person genocide in 1994.
But God works in mysterious ways and this journey was no different. The duo soon recognized that the best they could do was “get out of the way and let the Spirit lead.”
Their faith journey started last March after Froom met Fr. Ubald Rugirangoga at the annual conference of the Association of Christian Therapists. She returned home believing that she and Fr. Ken would go to Rwanda, an outlandish thought at the time since it would cost a lot of money, they would address an extraordinary audience, the logistics would be difficult, and there would be language barriers.
Gradually, however, things fell into place with help from a lot of people — and God.
For example, the treatment manual had to be translated into French, one of Rwanda’s official languages. Parishioners Mary Kinney and Véronique Jewell voluntarily stepped forward to translate 190 pages.
Upon arrival, Fr. Ken and Froom learned the workshops would be conducted in Kinyarwanda, Rwanda’s native language. Fr. Charles Ntabyera, 34, served as translator, only his second experience, but he performed beyond all expectations.
Also making up the team were therapists Denise Dolff of Waterloo, Canada, and Katsey Long of Jackson Hole, Wyoming, who visited Rwanda last year with Fr. Ubald. Although this was the first time the foursome worked together, everything went beautifully.
The Rwandan participants found the workshops so engaging and helpful that the bishop, who attended most sessions, invited the team to do more training in the future.
The flight to and from Rwanda goes through Nairobi, Kenya. While in Kenya, Fr. Ken and Froom also delivered a day-long workshop with community leaders in rural Sachangwan, a contact made through St. Tom’s parishioner, Jason Kohler, who is doing missionary work there this year. (His mother, Katie Kohler, joined the delegation to see her son and to volunteer as a nurse during the trip.)
Sachangwan was traumatized by 2008 post-election violence and a terrible gasoline fire in 2009 that took almost 200 lives.
Again, the team needed a translator, this time from English to Swahili. Kohler’s host family “mother” not only served as translator but she had just completed her master’s degree in psychology.
While in Kenya, Fr. Ken and Froom also met with Auxiliary Bishop David Kamau Ng’ang’a of Nairobi, and several staff members of the bishops’ conference of Kenya. They asked Fr. Ken and Froom to return to the country to train Kenyans to work more effectively with their people who suffer the effects of trauma.
Money had to be raised to finance this African sojourn not only for their own expenses but also for the participants who required materials, meals, lodging, and travel expenses to attend the workshops. Fr. Ken and Froom raised a total of $21,000 in contributions from diocesan clergy, family members, friends, two parishes and others who heard about the trip.
Then, while in Rwanda, Fr. Ken received word from home that the Trauma Recovery Associates had been awarded $50,000 from the Generous Promise Grant Fund of the Congregation of St. Joseph. This money will allow them to conduct additional workshops in Africa, Ireland, the United States and military chaplaincies. It seemed to them a wonderful confirmation by the Holy Spirit of their ministry.
Although the trip was flawless, it constantly required a faith walk.
“My anxiety got in the way sometimes,” Fr. Ken admitted. “I wanted clear answers; I wanted a schedule to run on time. But when I pushed for those things, it just interfered. And that’s what it’s like now facing the future. I don’t know what’s coming, or when, or how. I am praying and trying to set aside my anxiety and my agenda so that God’s agenda can be fulfilled.”
Olga Bonfiglio is a professor at Kalamazoo College in Kalamazoo, and author of Heroes of a Different Stripe: How One Town Responded to the War in Iraq. She has written for several national magazines on the subjects of religion, social justice and food.
Faith and Marriage: Interfaith Marriage feature
The fact that Jesus Christ chose the wedding at Cana to be the occasion of his first miracle is an indication of the importance of the Sacrament of Marriage within the Catholic Church.When the The Good News asked several diocese parishioners how their Catholic faith has influenced their marriage, “commitment,” “family,” “teamwork” and ”community” were common themes. Following are some examples.
Blended faith families: Interfaith couples build strong foundations on common ground
By Fran Czuk
KALAMAZOO — When Jane and Dean Knuth married in 1983, it was considered a radical act by many people they knew.
The reason?
Jane was Catholic and Dean was Lutheran.
“We’d known each other and dated for six years, and everyone was worried about us,” Jane said. “If we’d both been Catholic and known each other six months, no one would have worried, probably.”
Jane Bodway, associate director of Marriage and Family Ministry for the Diocese of Kalamazoo, said interfaith marriages are much more frequent now than in the past.
The Knuths followed the tradition of marrying in the bride’s church, but Dean’s Lutheran pastor came to the wedding as a witness. They prepared for the wedding by taking a class for interfaith couples, going for counseling sessions with a Lutheran pastor and going on a Marriage Discovery weekend.
“Dean really liked the weekend,” Jane said. “He went reluctantly. We stayed in a convent for the weekend and he thought that was kind of strange. But he really enjoyed it. He had tremendous respect for the priest. He signed us up to be lead couple.”
As leaders, the Knuths often share their story at Marriage Discovery weekends, and Knuth said couples in similar situations are still always eager to hear it.
Bodway recommends an online program called Two Churches, One Marriage as a good resource for interfaith couples.
“It talks about good, effective communication skills but also problem solving skills and how you manage those religious differences, how you bring your children up with those differences,” Bodway said.
Communication is key
Good communication was key for Megan and Jim Roth. Megan had a strong Catholic upbringing; when they started dating, Jim had just reconnected with his Lutheran background.
Due to their early and regular communication, the Roths never struggled with their different practices.
“There was no competition, faith-wise, for us,” Megan said. “Jim was living in Detroit, so we would go to his Lutheran church when we were there, and we would go to my church when we were here. When Jim moved here, we discussed if he wanted to find a Lutheran church. It didn’t feel necessary because he felt welcome at St. Tom’s and it was a good fit for him spiritually.”
One struggle the Roths did have to face was the annulment process for Jim, who had previously been married in the Lutheran church and divorced. Despite being a long, slow, labor-intensive process, the annulment process was healthy in many ways, Megan said.
“It was God’s time,” Megan said. “It wasn’t our time. It helped us to step back and say, ‘It doesn’t matter. It will happen.’ That’s been true through our whole marriage.”
For example, Jim said early on that he would probably become Catholic eventually, but the timing was not what they anticipated.
“I didn’t see myself, when we had a family, not going to the altar,” Jim said. “I wanted to be a part of it. But I certainly didn’t expect that summer [of 2001] to say, ‘I’m going to do this right now.’”
In fact, Jim had planned to join the Catholic Church with their first child. Yet he felt called to start RCIA in 2001, and joined the church March 30, 2002 — two months before their first son was born.
Raising children of faith
The Roths knew they would raise their children in the Catholic faith, but they did struggle with the decision of their schooling. Megan had gone to faith-based schools; Jim had not, and teaches in the Kalamazoo Public School system. They agreed they both wanted a spiritual education for their children, and eventually made the big decision to send them to St. Augustine.
A foundation of faith
Now that their children are grown, most Sundays Jane and Dean Knuth go to their respective churches, then come home and discuss the sermons they heard over breakfast.
“We share a lot of our faith,” Jane said. “We don’t have nearly as interesting of conversations when we go together. We have these two traditions to share. It's something to talk about.”
Jane and Dean Knuth have built their marriage on the foundation of faith without trying to change each other.
“As Christians, we firmly believe our faith is a strong part of our marriage relationship,” Bodway said. “It’s important to have that strong foundation of faith, so when you have couples who practice it differently, how do you build that foundation?”
Bodway emphasized finding commonalities; for instance, praying the Our Father together.
“We like to say, ‘You all have one faith,’” Bodway said. “You just practice that in a different tradition. We believe in the same God. We just choose to worship him differently. Religion can be a very hot topic and you need to be respectful of one another's beliefs whether you agree with them or not. Once disrespect comes in, it permeates the whole relationship.”
Jane and Dean themselves worried their different faith practices could lead to problems.
“It was a part of him and it was a part of me and we didn’t really know how to solve the problem,” Jane said. “We decided we would have to trust God to solve the problem. As it turned out, it wasn’t really a problem. It was just a path God was taking us on. What He eventually showed us was that people are supposed to love each other, and Christians especially are supposed to love each other, and there was nothing wrong with this kind of love.”
Married couples’
Linda and Chris Pobocik
St. Mary of the Assumption Parish, Three Oaks
Married 33 years and the parents of three adult children.
“One thought from our pre-marital counseling sessions in 1977 comes to mind: Marriage is a covenant between a husband, wife and God. It is more important even that the bond between parent and child. In marriage, you are vowing to work together and be a positive influence on your children and community as you work in partnership to model your faith to your children.
“This has been something that has stuck with us as we moved from our home town of Swartz Creek, Mich, to Cincinnati to South Haven and then, in 1985, when we made our home in Three Oaks.
“This teamwork between husband, wife and God, with the support of others we have met on our journey, has kept our marriage strong.
“We work together at our funeral home (Pobocik Funeral Home), we live together and play together, keeping each other on the right path.”
Karla and Joe Giannola
St. Joseph Parish, St. Joseph
He and Karla, wife of 30 years, are the parents of four children ages 16 to 27.
“The first thing that comes to mind when I think about how my Catholic faith has influenced my marriage is ‘commitment.’ My wife, Karla, and I think of the Catholic Church as our family.
“This commitment really took form with the baptism of our first child, who was four at the time. Karla describes it as an ‘opening’ or ‘explosion.’ At that point, I realized and accepted my responsibility to my entire family and started being more involved in the Catholic Church. I joined the parish council and serve on various committees. Karla is not Catholic but is very involved with the First Communion program and Confirmation training and has become close friends with the priests and others in the parish.
“We are committed, as I said, to the Catholic Church which is part of our family as well as part of our marriage. Together, we face our challenges as one and are there for each other.”
Jeanne and William Romstadt
St. Mary of the Lake Parish, New Buffalo
She and William, her husband of 30 years, are the parents of six children, ages 23 to 4.
“I have always believed that marriage is a sacrament, a union between man, woman and God. It’s a union that is unbreakable — for a lifetime. In our almost 30 years of marriage there have been many difficult times, but never a time bad enough to consider breaking that union.
“It’s important for me to live a life committed to God’s union and, at the same time, a life that demonstrates to my children that ‘quitting’ or ‘giving up’ on that commitment is never an option. Todays culture makes it too easy to be a quitter. There can be no true commitment when we know how easy it is to break that commitment.
“What we commit to in married life is to love our spouse and children as Christ loves the church — unconditionally! I try to model my commitment in hopes that my children are realizing that any true commitment takes much hard work, patience and sacrifice and will not be realized if you don't stick with it. “What’s worth having is worth working for.”
Mary and Eric Baker
St. Joseph Parish, St. Joseph
Married two years.
“Our Catholic faith influences our marriage through our service to our parish, in our daily lives and in the choices we make together. Some examples include:
We met while working at our St Vincent de Paul Society. We share our time together at Mass, at adoration and at retreats, with a common bond of trying to draw closer to Christ.
“We chose October 4 for our wedding day because it is the feast of St Francis of Assisi who Mary’s father is named after. We try to add a faith dimension to our vacations by visiting the children we sponsor through Christian Foundation for Children and Aging. While on vacation, we try to attend daily Mass whenever possible.
“Our faith helps us to trust one another and have patience and forgiveness with each other.”
Taking back my life: an interview with a Trauma Recovery Program participant
By Clare BrockwayThe diocesan Trauma Recovery Program began in 2002 under the leadership of Fr. Ken Schmidt, pastor, St. Thomas More, Kalamzoo and Sharon Froom, director. Today close to 300 people have participated and gained skills and insight to live a more productive and happy life. Following is an interview with a recent participant.
Who is the program geared toward?
The program is for anyone who has experienced trauma — including abuse and neglect, whether physical or emotional — and struggles as a result in their adult life. Most of us, in some way, have dealt with neglect or abuse. A key part of the program is learning to remember experiences without reliving them, ‘staying grounded,’ in the present moment.
What was the final factor that made you join?
I was interested in any way that could potentially make me more alive.
How do you feel you benefited from it?
The program made me aware of when I was letting myself be influenced by the past rather than by the present. It made me see my responses were almost habitual and there were new ways to look at the situation. People end up avoiding feelings because feelings can be so intense — I learned how to feel without being hostage to my feelings.
What is the format of the meetings?
The weekly sessions usually begin with reviewing homework from the week before, then the introduction of a new topic by one of the facilitators and exercises. Participants can share if they so choose, but no one is ever picked on. It’s all volunteer.
What are some of the topics covered in meetings?
Topics include healthy boundaries, recognizing and overcoming cognitive distortions, staying rooted in the now, gradual exposure to triggers, forgiveness and grieving. Forgiveness is Fr. Ken’s forte — he does a lot of work on forgiveness. Forgiveness doesn’t necessarily mean reconciliation; it’s the first step within you.
What is your advice for those thinking of joining?
It really lays the groundwork for deeper self-respect and true intimacy with others. It’s for survivors of childhood — I can’t imagine anyone who wouldn’t benefit.
Retrouvaille offers struggling couples another chance
By Fran Czuk
GRAND RAPIDS — In an age where half of marriages end in divorce, marriage counseling is big business. But for those who have tried retreats and counseling and still find themselves facing divorce, Retrouvaille can offer troubled marriages a last chance at success.
The Retrouvaille program — the term is French for rediscovery — is designed for couples with marital problems, including those considering divorce and those who are already separated. The program is not currently offered in the Diocese of Kalamazoo, but it is offered in neighboring dioceses, including Lansing and Grand Rapids. Many couples consider it their final option before divorce.
For Carl and Sherran Esh of Grand Haven, Retrouvaille was a miracle that brought their marriage back from the brink of failure. After 25 years of marriage marred by medical problems, relocations, other personal struggles and the small, daily hurts that can accumulate for a couple leading separate lives, the Eshes learned how to mend their relationship with the help of Retrouvaille.
Retrouvaille consists of a weekend experience followed by a series of six to 12 sessions over three months. Three couples, together with a priest or minister, give a series of presentations aimed at helping couples learn better communication and practical tools for improving a marriage.
The Eshes found Retrouvaille to differ from marriage counseling and retreats — which they had tried unsuccessfully — in several important ways. It is presented in many hours over many weeks, giving couples time to learn and apply the techniques. It is approached not as a quick fix, but as a lifestyle change. It comes with its own support group — a community of people dedicated to fixing their marriages. It is taught from a Christian perspective. (Although all are welcome, Retrouvaille is Catholic in origin.) It is a peer ministry, presented by couples who have made their marriage work despite struggling.
“I could look at and relate to the presenters and their life stories,” Carl and Sherran Esh said in an e-mail. “I could see they were real, their stories were real and not just ‘book examples.’ They had many of the same problems we did and they had overcome them. This gave me the hope that we could do the same.”
By observing and hearing from couples who were further along their journey of healing, Carl and Sherran came to believe their marriage could be saved. Their problems did not disappear overnight, but they learned how to handle them together and move forward.
“[We learned] that couples that are truly involved with each other will have times of conflict,” the Eshes wrote. “Conflict isn’t the biggest enemy of marriage, indifference is.”
The Eshes learned that just as it took years for their marriage to disintegrate into misery, it takes time for it to heal. They needed time to discard their destructive habits and negative perspectives and build new, constructive ways of interacting. They also learned that married love is not an emotion, but a decision or a series of choices.
Since attending the Retrouvaille program that saved their marriage, Carl and Sherran Esh have spent more than 15 years guiding other couples on the same journey. Several times a year, they join a priest and other couples in conducting Retrouvaille events.
“We saw it as a response to a need,” Carl and Sherran Esh said. “We needed to thank others for giving us another chance to continue our marriage. It just (for us) seemed like the right thing to do.”
LEARN MORE:
A Retrouvaille weekend is being held February 18-20 at Spring Hill Suites-Marriot, 28th St. SE, Grand Rapids. For more information, please call the Retrouvaille community at (616)-752-7004 or on the web at www.retrouvaille.org.
Fr. James Adams to lead diocesan retreat on mental prayer
March 5 – 6, 2011; Transformations Spirituality Center, KalamazooMental Prayer: The Path to Sanctity is the theme of this year’s diocesan retreat to be held March 5 – 6 at Transformations Spirituality Center, Kalamazoo. Fr. James Adams, parochial vicar, St. Catherine of Siena Parish, will facilitate the retreat which will examine the practice of mental prayer within the entire life of prayer of the believer.
“Many of the saints have practiced and promoted mental prayer,” notes Fr. Adams. While many are familiar with the method of St. Ignatius Fr. Adams will explore St. Alphonsus Ligouri’s method which he notes is marked by simplicity. It was through his reading of St. Teresa of Avila that St. Alphonsus came to understand mental prayer as “nothing but a friendly relationship and frequent solitary converse with Him who we know loves us.”
The retreat costs include lodging and all meals and snacks as well as retreat printed materials.
Cost is $100 (double occupancy) and $125 (single occupancy).
Registration for the retreat is due by February 15. Registration forms may be downloaded from the diocesan website at: www.dioceseofkalamazoo.org/eci. For more information contact: Peg Kornacker, Office of Evangelization, Catechesis and Initiation, 269-903-0185; pkornacker@dioceseofkalamazoo.org.
Diocesan Vocations Office restructures; launches Project Andrew
The diocesan vocations office has new leadership, a new name and a new project — all with the goal in mind to increase vocations. Newly appointed director, Fr. Christopher Derda, pastor of St. Ann Parish, Augusta, explains the drive for a new direction for the office now operating as the Office of Vocations and Ongoing Formation.“The need for men and women to answer Christ’s call to ‘leave everything’ and follow Him is great,” says Fr. Derda. “The new structure of the office is responding to this need through practical changes and initiatives.”
One of the new changes is in the division of responsibility for the Director and Associate Director. As the Director of Vocations, Fr. Derda oversees the activities of the office and is responsible for working with applicants for the priesthood and directing formation for the 14 diocesan seminarians and newly ordained priests. He is also involved in working with the Associate Director, Fr. Christopher Ankley, parochial vicar, St. Catherine of Siena Parish, whose primary responsibility includes fostering and promoting vocations to the priesthood and religious life throughout the diocese.
The directors recently met with the diocesan deans, priests, deacons, religious and laity at various deanery gatherings to explain the changes and additions to the restructured office. One addition is the appointment of “Vocation Coordinators” for each of the six deaneries of the diocese. These coordinators will assist Fr. Derda and Fr. Ankley, as well as the pastors, in fostering vocations and promoting vocation activities and events in the various deaneries and parishes.
The newly appointed Vocation Coordinators include:
Northern Deanery: Jean Farrell (St. Therese Parish, Wayland)
Lakeshore Deanery: Carolyn Stacik (St. Joseph Parish, St. Joseph)
Central Deanery: Richard Szwaja (St. Martin of Tours, Vicksburg)
Eastern Deanery: Fr. David Grondz (Parochial Vicar, St. Joseph, Battle Creek)
Southwest Deanery: Patti Mitchell (St. Anthony, Buchanan)
Southeast Deanery: Charlie & Katie Davidson (St. Clare Mission, Centreville)
The directors and coordinators met recently to begin a new initiative, called “Project Andrew,” in each of the deaneries.
“This project is based on John 1:35-42 where Jesus calls St. Andrew and then St. Andrew introduces his brother, St. Peter, to Jesus,” explains Fr. Derda. Like St. Andrew, priests and religious are asked to invite young men and women (high school sophomores through 30 yrs. of age) to come and hear about how Jesus called them personally.
“The hope is that, like St. Peter, many will also ‘leave their nets behind’ to follow the Lord,” adds Fr. Derda.
The event will include the sharing of vocation stories as well as time for prayer, a meal, and other activities. Currently the Vocation Coordinators are working with pastors and parishes to organize these events in each of the deaneries. See future editions of The Good News for more details.For more information about “Project Andrew” contact Michelle Smith in the Office of Vocations and Ongoing Formation at msmith@dioceseofkalamazoo.org or 269-903-0203.
Late Easter moves Bishop’s Annual Appeal to March
Due to the lateness of Easter this year the 2011 Bishop’s Annual Appeal will begin March 20th in most parishes. Typically the diocesan appeal campaign, which funds the ministries of Bishop Paul J. Bradley, occurs after the Easter season but with Easter occurring on April 24th the decision was made to move the campaign earlier during Lent.Parishioners will receive a detailed appeal brochure and pledge card mailed to their homes requesting their participation. The monies from the campaign are used to support the diocesan ministries and services for the fiscal year which runs July 1, 2011 through June 30, 2012.
Parishioners who have payments left on their 2010 pledge to the Bishop’s Annual Appeal are encouraged to submit the balance by April 30, 2011.
For additional information please contact Shirley Serini, Office of Stewardship and Development, 269-903-0219.
